Elephant in the Ring #13: Jeff Hardy - World Champion...

...Now what?

I mean, Jeff Hardy...the man who cheated death numerous times...the human highlight reel...the charasmatic enigma...the ayatola of....oh wait, wrong guy....won the World title?! What now? There are plenty of questions to be answered by putting on the World title. What will happen with this "Who done it" thing? Who will be the next to be tagged with the motto "The guy that never won 'IT'"? What will happen if he gets caught?

Let me just start off with the last of the three questions. I really hope it doesn't have to go there. Jeff Hardy is, probably, the most entertaining guy out there because, outside of guys like CM Punk and Evan "Matt Sydal" Bourne, Jeff Hardy was the closest thing the mainstream WWE die hards had to getting a deathdefying high flying son-a-mah-gun. Honestly, I say that going back to the olden Hardy Boyz faze where all they did were lucha libre stuff all the twistey and turney stuff and saying to myself "Whoa, those guys are the only ones that I can recall that can fly up in the air like that...it almost looks like slow motion." But if Jeff Hardy while/while not being World champion gets caught doing something illegal, yet again, a riot will erupt. I will say that again. A RIOT WILL ERUPT! If Hardy gets fired (God I hope not) Hardy supporters will rise up and burn down WWE headquarters until they bring Jeff back. If Hardy gets suspended or if it gets thrown under the carpet (like, I think may happen if it happens) and it gets out that he did fail a drug test...the same thing will happen, only with the people who are against drugs, steroids, and alcohol, and whatnot.

Either way, Jeff Hardy winning this belt and something MASSIVE happening...like that failed drug test...will be a travesty for Vince, Shane, Linda, Stephanie, or whoever the hell is running the WWE now. But I hope and pray that the Jeff Hardy stays clean during this title run.

Now, instead of going in order (orders are for pussies and five year olds) I would like to strike the first question I have up there. What happens now that the "Who done it?" thing kinda did not work out for the guy who did it, as Jeff wound up winning it the next month anyways? There were four choices, four possible candidates that WWE Smackdown produced on a poll question to ask the audience "Who Done It?" It was down between Vladimir "I LOVE DOUBLE DOUBLE E!" Koslov, Triple H, Edge, or "Other" (which I will get to last).

First, lets talk about Vlad...they are turning him out to be Ivan Drago from Rocky IV. He is an "unbeatable force" that will do anything to get an edge in the DOUBLE DOUBLE E! So, what better way then to take out the "Weak link" between him and the DOUBLE DOUBLE E title? Make it a one-on-one match (like it was for most of the match)? So, yeah...that's a good candidate.

Next, Triple H. Same thing with Vladey. HHH is known for taking out people that stand in his way (Randy Orton, HBK, Ric Flair, Stephanie....ok, not her). He is known for playing mind games, and you know what they say about games "It's fun until someone gets hurt, then it's hilarious!"? Well, I tweaked it to what HHH is "It's fun until someone gets hurt, then it's even!" Yeah, I know it would have made sense if HHH pushed Koslov down the steps...but natural terms of death do not kill Vlad...he loves the Double Double E that much. So what better way then to take out the guy that's made out of flesh and bone? So...again, a viable candidate.

Edge needs no introduction, he's just that damn good. But I was not expecting Jeff Hardy to be the one that was introduced when Vickie Guerrero wheeled out on her chair and just belted "HE'S HERE!" by the time I saw that, I knew she wasn't all that giddy about Jeff Hardy....EDGE CAME BACK! W00t! But that's another story for another time. But Edge, kinda, has the most story lines to back up a possible attack on Jeff Hardy. If you remember, it was the Hardy Boys, Edge and Christian (PLEASE CHRISTIAN COME BACK!), and the Dudleys that created a new form of match....Tables....Ladders....and Chairs and brought the roof off everywhere where they showed off that match. If you remember, it was Jeffery Nero Hardy who stood 20 feet in the air on a ladder...and fell AGAIN 20 FRIGGIN FEET OFF THAT LADDER and crashing on to Edge in the Money in the Bank match two years ago. So, you see...that's a MAJOR candidate for the one who took Jeff Hardy out of the fold last month.

All three men are viable candidates for being the one to push good ol' Jeffery off of the steps and all of that. But the "Other" category got me and it got me because of what Edge said on last week's Smackdown episode. What about Matt Hardy? I mean, yes...he's the ECW champion...he has, apparently, slapped a tornado...and beat Mark Henry and his evil sleeveless mideon. But yet, I am sure that everywhere he goes he gets asked about Jeff. Everywhere he goes, he probably hears how good Jeff is and blah, blah, blah. Matt IS the forgotten Hardy boy. I remember back to the Attitude Era Hardy Boyz...many of people, me included, were "Ok, that's Jeff...who's that guy?!" and maybe they can pull it off as some sort of revenge factor for always "holding the man down!"

I must say, though, is Matt ready for that push? Meh. But I know who is, if it isn't him. What about Christian? I mean, what about bringing him back and put him in a storyline that will, basically, put two athletic superstars in the main event at a big show (Royal Rumble material)? Why have the same three or four pool of guys jump in vowing for the shot at the title (look at RAW)? If Christian is the one who did this, it would be a big deal. I mean, you gave Christian a push and you sparked the E+T+C/Hardyz feud back up and it will cause a whole chain of awesomeness to commence.

Hell, you know what? Just say it's Rikishi. It worked last time.

Finally, let me get to the man who "HAS NEVER DONE IT!" in the WWE RAW/SD/ECW. Looking over the roster, there isn't that old timer who never has done it. So...I got to dig deep on this. How about giving Finlay a push? I mean, the man IS a solid wrestler. He has been in this business longer then Jeff Hardy and the only title that he has ever won, that's still active, is the United States championship. Fit has been around, ladies and gentlemen. He went to WCW wrestled there for a loong long time, and WWE...but never won THAT one. So, why not have him pull a major upset over Matt Hardy to win the title or something? That's just my opinion.

Either way, the WWE has a lot on their plate with Jeff as your new champion. Overall, I think this is a good idea BUT one idea that can go horribly wrong by some lifestyle choices that our champion is going to make. It will be interesting, just like the Skeletor facepaint he always applies. Either way...Jeffery Nero Hardy, congrats on finally winning it...and I think J.R. can finally sleep better knowing that he doesn't have to constantly say "JEFF HARDY HAS NEVER WON IT!" Blah, blah, blah...Elephant in the Ring.

Join us next week where I will have an exclusive interview with Katie Vick to talk about Kane's new "endevours" with Ms. Kelly Kelly.....Kelly.

Elephant in the Ring #12: Todd Pettengill on Line 1, Todd Pettengill on Line 1

So, what did I say in number 10? That's right. I said that they should cut down on the whole "THREE HOUR RAW EXTRAVAGANZA!" and what does the WWE do?

They honor it by...putting on a three hour RAW extravaganza! Not any extravaganza, though. There are no deaths, or rememberances, or any special days that RAW has on here. Oh no, no, no. Ladies and gentlemen, the Slammys ARE BACK!...

...KINDA!...

Why kinda? Because it's not really the Slammy Setting. I remember watching old Slammy videos and it was more glamorous then a wrestling match. There weren't any wrestling. It was straight up an awards show. There weren't anyone getting beat up or broken or anything like that. It was it's own seperate entity. Todd Pettengill sinin the opening number in 1996, The Iron Shiek falling through the set on the first awards ceremony, "Kill the Clown" chants directed at Doink. Those were the Slammy's. Those were the days. I feel old.

But, the WWE can come out of this looking like princes to the fans princesses, what that means I have no idea...it just sounded cool. But, also, I have no idear how they can turn this into something positive because, quite honestly, they need more categories.

All I saw were "Best Wrestler", "Best Diva", and "Best Match" or something like that. Where's the "Best Hair" or "Best Dressed" or "Best Couple"? Where's all of that stuff that made the Slammy's entertaining? The only thing that will make this any better, I think, is to have Mike Adamle come out and belt the opening number fudging up everyone's name left and right.

IIIIIIIITS THEEEEEE SLAMMY SHOW! Oh wait, it's not the Slammy Show...it's the Elephant in the Ring.

But, on a more serious note. In my lifetime, I have met many superstars...from young (Larry Sweeney) to old (Tracey Smothers) but I know one person personally and, right now, that person lost a trainer, a partner, and a friend. In this last paragraph, I would like to send my condolences out to the friends, the family, and the students at the Top Rope Pro Wrestling Academy of head trainer "MoFo" Steve Bradley. He will be missed.

Elephant in the Ring #11:....This Reeks of Total Awesomeness....

So, today has been an average Thursday night...You know, going to school...being bored...playing Smackdown Vs. RAW (also, containing ECW) 2009 and doing absolutely nothing, but eating a Domino's Chicken and Ranch sammich...and working out, after a few days of battling a cold. Hell, today I wasn't even going to plan to give you guys a Elephant in the Ring. That is...until a friend told me a very interesting predicument. Christian Cage....leaving Total Nonstop Action?!

Let me give that one to you again. Christian Cage....leaving Total...Nonstop....Action. Christian Cage, the first major "get" from the World Wrestling Entertainment to jump ship to TNA. Christian Cage, the man that was supposed to get the biggest push by Vince Russo and J-E-DOUBLE F J-A-DOUBLE R-E-DOUBLE T to make him the big champion among champions, due to the fact that he never got that push in the World Wrestling Entertainment. He was THE GO TO GUY...

...for a month....

...to lose the title, yet again, to Jeff Jarrett ::shivers::.

Christian got shafted afterwords. Yeah, he got big pushes...but never a huge title reign, a la Jeff Jarrett's 14, or whatever he says he has, World titles. Christian has great talent, great mic skills, and great agility...did TNA exploit that? At times. But, you know? The World Wrestling Entertainment knows he has talent, which brings me to the next point.

CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN! AT LAST....YOU'RE ON......YOUR OWWWWWWN!...for a while.

If you haven't heard this, then you heard it here first....CHRISTIAN WILL BE BACK......TO THE WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT! LET ME REPEAT THAT FOR ALL OF YOU THAT COULD NOT GET THE FACT THAT I AM YELLING WHILE TYPING BECAUSE OF THE CAPS! CHRISTIAN IS COMING BACK TO THE WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT!

In the words of David Allen Grier..."I don't know about you.....but I have to scream.......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Yes! Now, I can wear my Captain Charisma shirt without feeling like the WWE censoring staff will find me and throw red paint all over it. Now, I can finally say that I totally reek of awesomeness without people giving me a weird little stare. Now, I can finally stop wearing his tights in protest in previous Smackdown Vs. Raw video games that he isn't in.

Now, I must say something about this. WWE...don't fudge this up. This is your chance to get the big piece of the awesomeness puzzle. This is your chance to rev up the spirit of the WWE and, honestly, I know just the plan for his comeback.

....Edge!.....

....Christian!....

....kazoos!

Ok, maybe not kazoos...but you put Edge and Christian back together? WOO! We might have our tag team division back up to where it was at for a long time. I mean, Cryme Tyme!...Jesse and Festus!...Priceless!...A Priceless and A Samoan!...Miz and Morrison! I can go on and on, people. The point is...Edge and Christian are the missing piece to the tag team title picture and, trust me, I will be grinning from ear to ear when I see CC come back to where it all began.

Because that, just like this Elephant in the Ring #11...totally.....TOTALLY reeks of awesomeness.

WWE...YOU BETTER NOT SCREW THIS UP....YOU REEKAZOID!

Elephant in the Ring #10: The 800th Super Spectacular Ultra Fun Fun Super 3-Hour Show! (Following Law and Order SVU)

First off, congradulations go out to the World Wrestling Entertainment for it's 800th episode. I have been a long time watcher of Monday Night Raw when it was, actually, two shows (RAW is WAR and WAR ZONE). But there is something that I am peeved about. How many three hour RAWs are going to happen in between 800-100 or even 800-900?

It just seems that the WWE has one every month whether it is a celebration or anniversary or a fake death or someone wants to know who the baby's daddy is. Whatever it is, all they do is slap another hour to the event to try and keep the suspence up, try to make you want to watch the three hours of something that is just as good two hours. Having a three hour show...monthly...gets old if your show is the same time and time again.

Just like the next guy, I love seeing old timers like Honkey Tonk Man, J.R., Golddust, Funaki (kinda sorta), and all the other people that I haven't seen in a long time....but, the thing is, they come EVERY 3 HOUR SHOW! If it isn't Honkey, it's Hacksaw. If it isn't Hacksaw, it's Hogan and so on and so forth. It is the same thing every time. It gets repeatitive.

I am not downing the three hour RAWs, though, I just think that there should be more space between 3 hour episodes and something, like a faked death or "Baby's Daddy" conversation, could be condensed in the two hour morsule. There does not need to be one every two weeks or whenever they do it.

I think if they hold off on the three hour shows, fans will get more EXCITED to see a three hour program. I know, living in Pittsburgh, I was too busy watching the debocale that was Monday Night Football and just caught little points and ditties and all the good stuff. I didn't catch the entire thing because, I think, it didn't catch my...interest very much and that the football game interested me a little more.

Now, since it was the Steeler game...I am not going to sit here and say "If they spread the Spectaculars out, I would watch every minute of this." But I am going to say that, IF they did extend that, I would have watched most of RAW and tune in on the Steeler game from now and then. So, WWE...CONGRADULATIONS ON GOING TO THE NUMBER 800! But because of that, you are THE HISTORIC TENTH SPECTACULAR ELEPHANT IN THE RING! Splendiverous

Stay tuned for Law and Order, followed by Law and Order: Criminal Intent, followed by Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, followed by the Law and Order movie, followed by Monk....JUST KIDDING, it's Law and Order!

Elephant in the Ring #9: Phone Sex Sunday

Ok, you know what is grinding my gears? This Sunday is "Cyber" Sunday...A pay per view that has gone through so many changes. From being a prototype on Tuesdays and then it moved to Sunday and became Cyberish. But...now...they are taking the fun out of Cyber Sunday....BY HAVING YOU TEXT YOUR VOTE!

TEXT!?

What the hell, man? Cyber Sunday is supposed to be...CYBERISH! It has nothing to do with texts. Cyber Sunday should be directly in the hands of the internet and not the palms of your hands. The even more shitty part is the fact that you have to pay 99 CENTS to do it......ON TOP OF THE AMOUNT THAT YOU HAVE FOR TEXTS! So, for me (cause I have the GoPhone plan with no "unlimited" texts) That is over a dollar for each text.


I am not going to pay for something that, honestly, I can do for free on the internet. I do like the matchups, the possible feuds, the Honkey Donkey Man, Golden Dust, and Roddy Stupid Piper all being in a match....but I am not going to pay for something that I have been doing ever since Taboo Tuesday. I am not going to waste my money on the show, if I am not going to be at the show or watch to see what's going on.


But everyone knows the reason for it....the money. Vinnie Mack is tryin' to suck the money out of your wallet as fast as he can...and, trust me, it is working. The majority of voters will wind up being teens and pre-teens that voted 10s of thousands of times for people that they don't even care about it, do to the fact that John Cena is not one of the choices in any of the matches.


That is all the WWE is trying to do...make money. Cyber Sunday, when it was Cyber Sunday, was revolutionary. Now, it looks like they are just about ready to scrap the Cyber Sunday deal all together by taking the Cybering out of the damn name.

The WWE NEEDS to change it's rules on Cyber Sunday...because, this time, it is not about money. It's about the fan interaction. It's about the fun to be a wrestling fan. It's about the fun to have power in your hands (without having to pay). It's about the reason why Phone Sex Sunday is your Elephant in the Ring.

Elephant in the Ring - It's Addictive Because You're a Wrestling Addict

Elephant in the HAAS #8

By the title...you should know what is about to happen.

I have told you a few times that I am, without a doubt, a big fan of comedic style wrestlers (Santino Marella) and I always like one good laugh after another. Well, besides from Santino Marella making fun of Italians and how they speak, the WWE also brought in...a "copycat" wrestler in Mr. Charles Haas.

Now, as I sit here today typing this...a phrase popped into my head...a phrase that was said over and over again in time. That phrase was "immitation is the sincerest form of flattery." Ladies and Gents...Charlie Haas is doing something that I don't think anyone can ever really duplicate (knowing the WWE, they will try to...but it won't work as well as Charlie's immitations.

Heck, let us go to two weeks ago...."The Great Charli." The interpretor for Khali helped Charlie Haas poke fun at the same guy that he is managing...which made it even more funnier. Hell, Khali could not keep a straight face looking at Charlie Haas done a wig and an extended chin chinstrap, until he chopped Charli's head in with the "Judo Chop" maneuver.

Another instance was THREE weeks ago with the Mr. Imperfect vinettes he did at the Dave and Buster's. Mr Perfect, as you all know, was the man at these. The promos he did with Wade Boggs as well as the other stars, of that time, were amazing...almost made it seem like he was actually doing some of the things that he was showing us (honestly, how many people can show you that they can throw and catch the same football while running down the field at full speed?). Mr. Imperfect's vinette had to be the funniest segment the WWE has had in a while...::cough:: Highlanders ::cough::.

But here's the big question. Now what? That's it! Is that all he is going to do? The man has talent...he has good moves...he has great potential...but is he just a gimmick now? Slap a title on him! Make him mean something. Hell, have him win the intercontinental championship and come out as Roddy Piper or Golddust or, hell, even his World Greatest Tag Team brotheren from another motheren, Shelton Benjamin (ok, maybe not Shelton...you get my point though). The WWE needs to work with this angle.

They can't just throw him in where ever there needs to be comic relief. Ask Nick Dinsmore what happened when you are thrown in there JUST for the comic relief. People got stale of the Eugene character because, quite honestly, one or two weeks of him winning and of him playing the retarded angle...people just did not care anymore.

And when people don't care...people get bored...and when people get bored...they turn on you...and when the people turn on you...it becomes difficult to play face to 50,000 fans in one arena booing in your direction when they should be behind you.

I think the WWE can play this out for the better. I think that the WWE has some comic gold on their hands if they use it right. And, honestly, the key to the comic gold is...well...gold! But, as of right now, Charlie Haas, Great Charli, Mr. Imperfect, Good Ol' C.H., Charlito, CHL, and all the future characters you come up with...you all are the Elephants in the Ring.

Join us next week where we will talk about Khali's tallywacker.

Elephant in the Ring #7: T...N...A

You know, I had no idea what the hell I was going to do this week. My mind was too busy focussing on different aspects of life from school to work to time management. I just got nothing...until Tuesday. Tuesday, I was on a weekly BlogTV show named, pretty self explainatory, "The Wrestling Mayhem Show." This show talks about wrestling...has different independant wrestlers come on the show (mainly from the International Wrestling Cartel)...and so on.

But in the chatroom on BlogTV, someone came in wanting to talk about TNA. Now, I only caught the last part of the latest TNA Impact and, quite honestly, I am glad this guy talked about it. I clearly stated how it is a sham and how Jeff Jarrett is a fraud of an owner and blah, blah, blah. Then I said something, something that I thought about when I heard Jeff Jarrett talk about the young wrestlers (Eric Young to AJ Styles) getting the push that the WWE was not going to give them. I thought about what he said and I said the following "THAT IS FLICKING BULL SHOP!" (and that was followed by the Orbitz girl saying "FABULOUS!").

Jeff Jarrett is trying to save his ass.

Why do I say that? Because look at the history of TNA/NWA championship.

Look at who was the longest running champion....Jeff Jarrett.

Look at who has the most championships in TNA...Jeff Jarrett.

Look at who OWNS TNA!.....JEFF F'N JARRETT!

So, you see...with him telling Kurt (who shot at TNA for not giving him the push) it's a contradiction of what Jeff Jarrett did during the early years of TNA. It pisses me off to see Jeff Jarrett stooping so low to be a "legend" that he has to be a 12 time world champion in the federation that he owns and operates.

Jeff, you had the chance. You really did. I mean, look at the talent you had and the talent you have. AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Eric Young (stupid Super Eric gimmick), Senshi, Petey Williams (Now a Big Poppa Dump flunkey), LAX...and, yet, you...Kurt Angle...Sting (no disrespect for Sting)...and the older guys are getting the top billing in this federation and, to be honest, it's turning into WCW.

So, Jeff Jarrett...you better fix what you created because this fan of wrestling, not of TNA, hates the fact that you are contradicting yourself. But, now, you (as well as the entire TNA nation) are an Elephant in the Ring

Elephant in the Ring #6: The Age of The Priceless Samoans

This week, we saw the slow development take place of something that could just be the best since Degeneration X or Evolution. The team of the third and second generation superstars....Randy Orton....tag team champions, Ted DiBiase Jr. and Cody Rhodes, and the new man in the fray, Manu. This group, if it does every single thing right on the money, could be the biggest group in the world of professional wrestling history....Four Horsemen....DX...and, the group that has my vote, the Right to Censor (DON'T FIRE STEVIE!). But this group is stacked, STACKED, with Grade A talent, or people who look good in the ring, now the WWE has to roll with this. They can't just lose the luster that they built up with the whole Randy Orton-Priceless feud, unless DiBiase-Rhodes team or Orton are turning face, which would be the biggest mistake possible.

But you think about it, this "tough love" isn't the first time we have seen this one. Hell, Cody Rhodes knows what I am talking about. He was in this whole scuffle with Hardcore Holly, sly vet that hasn't done anything since the feud with Rhodes, and every week...the two scuffled and feuded and blah-dee bloop-pah and all of that crap. SO Rhodes know what this road will take you. He knows how the angle is supposed to turn out and, you know, having a World champion do the slapping and bitching and moaning is a lot better then the guy they named "Sparkplug" in the early 90s. Having Randy Orton, the youngest WWE champ in HISTORY (even though the man that held that name before....is gettin' his arse handed to him in UFC) is the best guide to have these three learn stuff from. Hell if the WWE and RAW were smart, bring Nattie in to join the fun and you got yourself a force to be reckoned with.

All in all, this is probably going to turn out as a last ditch egging in the face of the WWE..dangling something epic in front of us and then take it away and throw an epic fail in our faces. But time will tell and that is why, my little baby elephants (maybe you will be a second generation elephant one day), that's why they are the new edition to the Elephant in the Ring!

Oh, and little elephants? A little update on our story on Santino Marella. Go to Facebook at search for the "Honk-A-Meter", it's comedy gold!

Elephant in the Ring #5: Mick Foley is....TNA! Wait...what?

I don't normally talk about TNA here on EitR because, basically, it's horrible...garbage...non-watchable. ::cough:: Russo ::cough::.



But some...thing caught my eye while browsing the TNAWrestling.com website, besides the annoying voice of one Jeremy Borash on TNA Today (who probably gets less hits then I do daily...and I am a almost-weekly program), and that something was a picture of a smiley face...barbed wire going through the smiley face...and the words "HAVE A NICE DAY!" wriiten on the right side of the picture.



Now, you don't have to be Einstein...or Brooklyn Brawler...to figure out what's going on here. TNA is filled with disgruntled World Wrestling Entertainment and World Wrestling Federation junkies (See: Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Kurt Angle, Miss Jackie, Sting, Scott Stiener, Davari....Abdul Bashir in TNA, BG and Kip James, Team 3D, Rhino, J-E-Double F J-A-Double R-E-Double T, Matt M...M...M...M...Morgan, Christian Cage, Jim Cornett, Paul "Percy Pringle" Bearer...even though it was only for a short time period and...most importantly....Earl "The Thrill" Hebner) and now you can add one more piece to the never ending...never fitting perfectly...puzzle that is Total Nonstop Action.

If any wrestling promotion, or magazine, or website, or anything of that nature had the equivilent to "You Can't Blame" you would definitely make the case that the point of "You Can't Blame Mic Foley for leaving the World Wrestling Entertainment," however it does not count for the confusingness (look it up in the Urban Dictionary) that we were faced when Mick Foley...went to TNA. I mean, the man that made the second most emotional segment in the movie "Beyond the Mat" (second to Dennis Stamp FINALLY getting booked) is switching companies and going to the Vince Russo express?

You know, it's funny how irony shapes itself. Remember back in the day? RAW was taped and Nitro was live? Remember that one day where Mike Tenay mentioned that Mick Foley won the World title? Then everything fell apart for Mike Tenay's Nitro? Now, Tenay's going to FINALLY call a LIVE match with Mick Foley in it. Must be so exciting seeing the man that, single handedly (sorry Vinnie), took down Monday Night Nitro...Mick Foley.

But, the reason Mickie's my Elephant for this show is because TNA, Vince Russo, and...most of all Mick Foley have a decision to make. Because, remember in that one scene in "Beyond the Mat" where Mick Foley saw the reactions of his kids while watching him get beat up, bloodied, battered, and bruised. Remember he said that when he saw their reaction that his heart sank and, right there, he lost the thrill to become some dangerous...mask wearing....sock packing....tie and sweatpants wearing...one earred...guy that got thrown off the top of the Hell in the Cell in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania in the 1998 King of the Ring tourney (p.s. I was there!) that he was doing ever since coming into the world of professional wrestling and stuff like that. What do you do now? Do you make him a manager of Abyss? That would be cool. Do you make him pull a Sabu-like atmosphere and, at every pay per view, wrestle someone in some greuling match that involves C4...steel chairs....steel cage....a pipe...barbed wire....tables....and other cool crap that you can throw into the ring and go beyond what Mick Foley said back in the day? Which, of course, would be cool. Or is it going to be something completely different? We won't know until Mick Foley comes out of that futuristic wrestling entrance and raises his hand as he comes out to something slightly different then the song that he came out to in the World Wrestling Entertainment brand of wrestling.

To be honest, if I see that happen (and trust me that's a reeeeeally BIG IF)...I would just lower my head into my hands just shake my head violently until I forget what I just saw...but, as of right now, Mick Foley and the TNA writing Russos...congradulations you are the first TNA recipiants of the Elephant in the Ring...Have a nice day

R.I.P Walter "Killer" Kowalski

May he rest in peace.

Elephant in the Ring #4: Not Brian Kendrick....but THE Brian Kendrick or THE Big Show

What is the WWE writing department doing? I mean, first you have Santazon...then you have a kick ass HitC match with Taker and Edge...and now....THE Brian Kendrick could be your new WWE champion. Let me say that one to you again. THE BRIAN KENDRICK could be your new double-you double-you E champion!

How does that sit in with you? Because, quite honestly, it's about freakin' time. What else are you going to have him do? Win another tag title? Jump to RAW....turn back into Spanky...and battle rap John Cena every week? THE Brian Kendrick has talent and, finally, they have gone from giving people with credibility and movie roles and all of that jazz title shots and giving the little guys, like THE Brian Kendrick and THE Shelton Benjamins of the world, a chance to shine on the big screen.

I, honestly, would not mind seeing Brian Kendrick pulling out of the Scramble as your champion...hell, I'd be happy if he won the title and, then, lost it during the match. It would be pretty cool to see the WWE actually thinking that a little guy like Mr. Kendrick would become WWE champion.

However, on Smackdown (in Pittsburgh...which I did not attend) Big Show got angry about not being in the scramble and who are you going to pick on out of the five superstars (four if you don't include HHH)? That's right....THE Brian Kendrick. I am not sure if they are going to keep the participants like it is, or they are actually deciding to take the Big Show and slap him in the middle of that pack and have Brian Kendrick looking from the outside in instead of from the inside out, as he is doing right now.

So...we have a few more weeks to digest the fact that we may have to call Brian Kendrick a FORMER WWE champion or we may have a crappy set up for a crappy match with the Big Show replaccing THE Brian Kendrick. It doesn't matter...Big Show and THE Brian Kendrick are THE fourth installment of THE Elephant in the Ring.

(First time...two-a-week...)Elephant in the Ring #3: Glamerella

Sonny had Cher...John Lennon had Sonny Ohno...more wrestling terms, Chyna had Triple H...Kane had Tori....Triple H (more rescently) has Stephanie McMahon...and, now, the most dominant couple in the World Wrestling Entertainment? Santino Marella and Beth Pheonix!

I don't know about you...but I am thrilled to see these two together. One contradicts the other so much it makes for some hillarious insight on various subjects. With Santino intentionally making fun of names (a la the prime Jericho when he called, most famously, Chris Benoit....Chris Ben-Oy-T) and Beth Pheonix playing the Chyna role perfectly....hell, even better then Chyna cause Beth is hot...ter then Chyna (still doesn't top Victoria, barnone). It's a match made in the WWE writing depot's lap!

It's now the writing department to turn this into a match made in heaven and not a match made in hell. If they want to make this work, they need to write in some awesome lines...some awesome sketches....awesome promos and awesome matches.

Now, I really don't do this a ton...but I must say I think I know how they are going to work this out. Santino vs. Beth Pheonix...title v. title. Now, I know what you're going to say...you're going to say "Come on, Zach...that's totally predictable....Beth's going to win." That I say to you...oh no it's not all predictable. Remember back in the olden days? Someone by the name of Harvey Whippleman dresses in drag and you have your FIRST MAN AS YOUR WOMAN'S CHAMPIONSHIP?! So...let's rewrite history, WWE writers staff, and make Santino the ONLY MAN THAT'S NOT IN DRAG to win the WWE Women's Championship!

But, like I said...I'm not making the bucks to come up with this stuff...I am just a blogger with a mind...and I just use it. If you want to give Beth Pheonix the IC championship be my guest, that would be good as well. But, as of right now...Santazon is your 3rd installation of the Elephants in the Ring.

Just a little heads up, expect #2 for the week to be up this week and expect it to be about.....THE Brian Kendrick as THE WWE champion (for a possible second, of course)...enjoy.

Elephant in the Ring #2 - Rey Mysterio Dead?

So, FINALLY the mystery is solved. What was in the burlap sack. But...what the hell did it mean? Kane killed Rey Mysterio? Who knows? But I think this might be Kane's ticket BACK to insane-hood. This might be the way that gives Kane that "heel feel" back. Because Kane has been on the heel-face roller coaster and has been riding it for way too long.

For instance, when he's heel....he's Taker's brother....he's dead...he sits up...he's indestructable....he's terrorizing everyone in his path. When he's face...he's a jobber....he slowly gets up....he's undesirable....he's....terrible (the bad version to be...not the "Ivan the Terrible" terrible...but more the "Brooklyn Brawler" terrible).

Kane needs a psycho angle, again. I know I am not the only one that misses the whole "Kane is psycho" angle that he does once every year. This year it's Mysterio, last year it was "May 19th", leading up to WrestleMania 20 it was that Taker was dead, and the list can go on and on my friend.

But here's where things get creepy...why Rey Mysterio? Is he ditching the mask and taking a serious role? Is he going to plan to be a smaller version of the Undertaker? It's not going to be easy to make this work.

Last time Kane said that someone was battered and bruised and totally scared from head to toe...wasn't it Kane when he was masked? Then he revealed....nothing was wrong with him and that it was, basically, all in his head. So does this mean him "hurting" Rey Mysterio is all....in his head and he just bought a replica Rey mask in WWE ShopZone? Or did he, finally, do something psycho to a wrestler (IF YOU SAY J.R. IS A WRESTLER I WILL FIND YOU AND MAKE YOU TAP THE FRIG OUT!).

It's something to keep an eye on in the weeks to come. Is Rey going to come out next week/a few weeks from now with a mask? Is he going to be unmasked like he did in WCW when Y2J unmasked him? Is he going to be brutally maimed and scarred like Kane said? It will be an interesting way to see how the WWE team will decide to do when this whole thing unravels in a few weeks.

As for now....if he's alive or dead....Kane and Rey Mysterio is the new Elephant in the Ring....and don't say that date!

Elephant in the Ring #1 - Mike Adamle:GM

His first time on television Mike Adamle called Jeff Hardy...Jeff Harvey...and the rest is history.

Mike Adamle is not, by far, the first choice...or second....or third....or even fourth on the list of possible general manager of RAW. But it is not known, as of right now, what the future holds for the "Adamle Original" of Adamle being a big part in the decision processing. He could pull off some descent matches and become one of the main stays on RAW for a long time to come or, like it was the case for other general managers that came before him, a few months of power under the GM moniker...:: cough :: Regal! :: cough :: Sorry, there's allergies here in Pittsburgh.

But Adamle has potential...Adamle can do some good in the WWE but the only thing he needs to work on is his reactions and his tone when he talks. A pure example of this is last week on RAW...the line, basically, was "HEY! STOP IT!" and what does Adamle say? "Hey. stop it." The man needs to make himself known to the people...he needs to take charge and relax. If he just gets the nerves gone from seein tens of thousands of people and millions watching all around the world (probably 15 times more the audience then an American Gladiators crowd...sorry Lasor), Adamle could be the best GM they had since Eric Bischoff.

But as of right now, Mike Adam-Oli....congradulations, you are the very first Elephant in the Ring!

The First Blog - State of Why to Start a Blog about Wrestling

Good day, everyone.

I have, actually, been watching wrestling ever since I could remember. Every Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday...sitting in front of the televison watching matches (*thinking it was real...when I was young*). I have not stopped yet...and I am twenty one years young, it's not that weird...trust me. I know guys who are about forty that still go to wrestling shows...just to go to wrestling shows.

But that doesn't answer the question...."WHY DID YOU START THIS SHINDIG?!" Well, I have some views...some ideas...some thoughts that I think that I would like to share to you fine people who wind up looking at my blog (hopefully I will start get two people....and they will tell two friends...and they will tell two freinds....and so on....and so on....and so on).

Next Saturday (not this one coming up) I will tell you how I feel about the state of pro wrestling (WWE/TNA/ROH/Indy/etc.) and maybe, when I get people looking at this thing, answer some of your burning questions and stuff like that. I will try to be positive in everything that I see...but I have no promises. So stay tuned, we will have a grand ol' time.

Thank you and enjoy ELEPHANT IN THE RING!