Elephant in the Ring #16: Looks Aren't Everything

Now, I normally don't diss the WWE until they have done something extremely wrong and arrogant to the point to where I flip out and have to write about it, right here on Elephant in the Ring (CHEAP PLUG ON MY OWN SHOW!) but I do have a beef with the talent agency that runs the World Wrestling Entertainment. What the hell is wrong with Scotty Goldman?!

Elephants, the WWE brought up Colt Cabana/Scotty Goldman because he was entertaining and they knew he was going to go to TNA and be a semi-star (because, honestly, who watches TNA and thinks that there are some stars in the main event). WWE picked him up and, honestly, I thought it was the best move for Colt Cabana because he is what the E states. He's ENTERTAINING! He's not the best thing to look at, by all means. But you can't seriously sit there and say that Scotty is not talented. I remember listening to Tazz and JBL and King on the WWE video games "This is not a beauty pagent! This is not a beauty pagent!" but saying a guy doesn't have "TV star talent looks" shows that, to the WWE and some of it's talent, IT IS A BEAUTY PAGENT!

If you don't believe Scotty Goldman has talent, look what he's doing already. After three shows, the man has one of the best web shows on WWE Exclusive today. Is that because he's good looking? No, far from that. It's that the "dot com" universe sees the potential that Scotty Goldman holds JUST by hearing him talk. He's not going to be a Randy Orton or a John Cena or anyone like that, I know that, but Scotty Goldman is ENTERTAINING and, last time I checked, the E in WWE IS, in fact, Entertainment...but right now, the E in EITR is the WWE Talent Agency.

PUSH SCOTTY GOLDMAN! Thank you :)!

Elephant in the Ring #15: THE RUMBLE BACKLASH

I am going through EVERYTHING...ok maybe just the Hardys.

As much as I like Christian and wishes he was here right now, I think this Family Feud is just plain ol' awesome from start to end. I mean, before Matt left...he was dynamite as a heel. I remember Matt Facts and I bet EVERYONE can name their favorite Matt Fact. For me, it was "Matt had more valentines then his brother" but there were sweet ones.

Matt Hardy shined, just like Owen did when he fought Bret Hart, when being the heel against his brother. Matt Hardy has the same attributes that Owen Hart did and knows everything about his brother. He is a great heel BECAUSE HE WON as a heel, same way with Owen. The storyline was to give Matt respect between the two, just like Owen.

"Matt is the star of the Hardy Boyz book"

This is just like the Hart spift and, to be honest with you, this will be EVEN BIGGER then the Hart feud because of how the sport evolved around Jeff Hardy and how Matt Hardy just got lost in the shuffle. Bret Hart was ALREADY a huge star and ALREADY making his name known in the WWE Legends field.

"Matt is twice the man Zach Gowen is." (Zach only has one leg, get it?)

The Jeff-Matt feud, if done right, will CATAPULT Jeff, and even Matt, to where Bret Hart is. This could make either one of them one of the best wrestlers of the younger generation. Jeff Hardy, though, is not a World champion...that's the only problem. When I was a youngin' I KNEW that Bret Hart could handle that pressure of being World champ. Jeff wouldn't...really...do much to the young stars out there, I think. But many Hall of Famers are known strictly as IC champions (see Su-Su-Superfly & Mr. Perfect) and Hardy JUST MIGHT fit in that category.

"Matt is taller than Rey Mysterio"

But as of right now, the only category this family feud is the Elephant in the Ring. Oh, one more Matt Fact.

"Matt's abs are better than Rikishi's"

http://www.angelfire.com/ny2/RayNRon/mattfacts.html More Matt Facts!

Elephant in the Ring #14: Vicki Guerrero....nude.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

IT BURNS! IT BURNS! THE HIDEOUS NATURE OF THIS ACTION BURNS!

All seriousness....what the fuck, WWE? What the hell were you smoking when you decided to put Vicki Guerrero, a proud widower of a fallen WWE wrestler, through this? Why have here, allegedly, strip to her Kibbles and Bits and take pictures for the whole world to see? Do you want the entire "WWE Universe" to have their heads explode from the inside out (Scanners)?

I didn't see the old WWF (the good kind of WWF) come out and torment, torture, ridicule, and put storylines in for The Hart family after their son/brother DIED IN THE RING. Stu and Mrs. Hart weren't caught on G-TV making out, having sex, or whatever. Stu did not divorce his wife and come to Monday Night RAW to marry Dawn Marie (for everyone who doesn't know...Torrie Wilson's dad married Dawn Marie in their undies). They left him and his family the hell alone!

That's what Smackdown writers need to do. Just let her live her life. No more Edge storylines, no more wheelchair, no more neckbrace, no more "EXCUSE ME!", and no more photos. Just let Vickie be Vickie...because these storylines are making Eddie turn over in his grave so many times he threw up.

So WWE, FIX IT! Episode 14, wish it was more festiv...have a great New Year!